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| An Elder Couple |
When young people were of an age to be married their parents or older relatives would arrange a union that would benefit both families. Sometimes these arrangements were made while the pair were still babies. Arranged marriages had a purpose, which was to expand the family unions outside the immediate one.
The most honourable form of marriage took place when the bride's mother and father made the first approach to the groom's parents. Both sets of parents prepared a ceremonial event where gifts were given and a feast held. The suitor "touching" the bride he desired during dances and public ceremony contracted some marriages.
One story tells of a young girl playing with her dolls who just happened to look up when a man passed by. Her aunt said that she was looking at him so she had to marry him.
Various elders in the community still remember stories of how to care for the mate left behind. If a man's wife dies or a woman's husband dies, he or she is to be taken in as wife or husband to either a brother or sister of the deceased. If this arrangement was not acceptable sometimes a friend would be chosen to care for the widow or widower. It should be noted that before this happened consent had to be received from all parties involved. A feast was then shared amongst the people to recognize this union between the two people.
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Maiden Song The Maiden Song was a special dance performed as a rite of passage into adulthood. The ceremony had two purposes. It celebrated a young girl becoming a woman. It also demonstrated that women were the carriers of tradition and men were the protectors of culture. Families would support their son or daughter by being present throughout the entire ceremony. Young women that were ready for marriage danced. The ceremony signified a time of letting go of childhood. When a girl had her first "moon time" or menstruation she had reached the end of one cycle of life and was ready to move on to the next. The young women usually stood in rows to perform the dance. Together, they moved back and forth. The rhythm of the song would start out slowly and speed up at the end of the third verse, signifying reaching "moon time". Their families sat close to their "mother," the ground, and watched. Young men would be at the edge of the circle. Other families who were there to support the young people sat behind. Usually the men would drum and sing, and the women would also sing. Another part of this dance showed a boy walking into manhood. This time the young maidens sat at the edge of the circle with their family supporters behind. The young men moved to the centre of the circle. Because the men were protectors of the culture, their movements took them everywhere within the dance area. Their movements showed hunting, war, or protective body gestures. During both parts of the dance, the young men and women were encouraged to openly seek a partner with graceful eye and body movements. Even before this time, families would have already discussed who would be best suited to whom. Usually grandparents watched over the families and noted an individual's behaviour and personalities. Aunts and uncles would also have a say in which people should marry. Parents would offer suggestions but not officiate matters. So, often previous arrangements would be made final with a wedding ceremony to be held after the maiden ceremony. A marriage often involved negotiations between the two families. When a couple married the male would go to the female's village to help protect the family. This would create a constant flow of families throughout the Secwepemc territory, therefore preventing intermarriage in a community. |
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